Why hide things from me? (Shizaya, Shizuo x Izaya)
by Xx-Sam-Evans-xX
Summary: (This story is from Izaya's POV) Izaya is having depression and self-harm problems. While Shizuo and him are playing their usual "game" of cat and mouse Shizuo catches him. Then he pins him against the wall and Izaya is forced to spill everything, including his feelings for him. Will Shizuo show his own feelings to him and help him or will he abandon him completely?
1. Why?

A/N: This is a Shizaya fanfic meaning boy x boy. Don't like it? Don't read it! No hate and read the warnings seriously! Anyway people who do read it ENJOY?  
WARNING This may be triggering for some people, it will have self-harm and depression. This will also have explicit moments (Sex and ect.) Anyway Enjoy~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I jumped from my spot right as a vending machine landed there. "Aww come on Shizu-chan you can do better than that!" I tease and laughed pulling out my blade from my pocket. Shizuo glares at me and growls out a response, "Fuck off Flea! I'll kill you!" A hidden pain flashes through my hollow eyes as I run laughing and smiling wickedly. Soon were in an alley and I'm trapped there. "Man this sucks I guess I lose this game," I say teasingly and smile a fake smile.

Shizuo growls and grabs my by the front of my shirt. He pushes me against the wall and stares me in the eyes angrily, "What's wrong with your eyes flea?" I widen my eyes slightly and lean my face down, "There's nothing wrong with my eyes." I put my hands against his chest and try pushing against him, it's useless. "Stop lying I can see your eyes. I'm not blind," he says angrily, forcing me to look him in the eyes. I close my eyes tightly and try pushing him away. "There's nothing wrong," I cry out, trying not to lose my facade.

He glares at me and stares at my face intently, the stare burns on my face. "Open your eyes," he orders and holds my face tightly, not intending to let go until I tell him everything. Then quickly he grabs my tender wrists and pushes me against the wall. I yelp uncontrollably as i feel pain emit from my wrists where his tight grip is. "Let my wrists go...Please," I cry out opening my eyes and looking him in the eyes pleadingly. Shizuo raises an eyebrow curiously and slides his arm down my arm, moving my sleeve out of the way exposing my now slightly bleeding cuts.

Shizuo's eyes widen and stares at the cuts softly with care. "Izaya," I flinch at my name, "Who did this to you?" His voice has care and worry mixed with anger as he spoke. I slightly tremble in his arms and push on him again. "I did now let me go," I say pleadingly and lean my head on his muscled chest. He lets go of my wrists and wraps his arms around my waist. "I need to talk to you privately," he said and quickly picked me up bridal style.

He holds me close to him and pulls my hood over my head. "We'll get to my house quickly so don't worry," he says soothingly and takes long strides toward his home. Shizuo soon arrives at his place with me in his arms. When we walk in he quickly locks the door behind us and places me on the couch. "Tell me everything. How you feel about me and why...why you would do something like this to yourself," he orders and pushes my sleeves up. I didn't want to but i couldn't resist tears form in my eyes and and I nod, "Okay..."

I explain how I was diagnosed with depression and that I had been cutting myself since I was sixteen. All the while I talk Shizuo rubs my scars and hugs me softly. "I-I wanted to tell you something else..." My voice fades away and I look him in the eyes. "What is it?" he asks softly and keeps our stare soft and caring. "I-I wanted to say... I love Shizuo," I say tears falling out of my eyes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A/N: How will Shizuo react to this? Will he abandon Izaya or help him and love him? Let's find out next chapter~ ;3 Anyway call me ShizayaShipper~ Love you guys~ Also yes Izaya was kind of OOC but yeah bai! ;3 /


	2. I'll help

Yeah It's been a while but here it is :D Enjoy it and please feel free to comment and review. Please no hate

WARNING This may be triggering for some people, it will have self-harm and depression. This will also have explicit moments (Sex and ect.) Anyway Enjoy~! 

Shizuo stared at me wide eyed at my last words. "I-I never thought i'd have to tell you like this but-" I'm cut off by the blond wrapping me in a tight hug. "S-Shizuo?" I mutter and he doesn't reply to me. He turns my head with his hand so I'm staring in his honey brown eyes. "You know for a flea you're pretty cute. I don't think it'll be hard to return feelings for you Izaya," he muttered and stared into my crimson eyes. Suddenly I'm pulled forward by him and our lips lock into a kiss.

Soon our lips part and my face burns red. "I'm not going to do anything more than kiss you until you get better, flea," he muttered and gently kissed my forehead. My face burns with blush, I, Izaya Orihara, blushing because of a few kisses! Unimaginable! Being kissed by the male who always say he hates me! It's too good to be true! I push on his chest until he's arms length away from my body. "I-It's not true you can't love me! I'm horrible and I manipulate people, you hate me! You said so yourself!" I cry desperately thinking he's messing with me.

I don't notice the pain on Shizuo's face as we sat there in complete silence. He growled slightly which made my eye's widen and I look up to him. "Flea I'll show you I can love you~" he purred grabbing my wrist, pulling me close. "N-No you can't! Let me go Shizuo!" I cry out, but It shows he has no intention of letting me go. "Then I'll make love to you until you finally believe me~" he whispered into my ear which sent sparks up my spine.

My body shivers gently at the thought but my mind tells me otherwise. "T-That can't happen," I say my heart giving into my feelings, but my mind won't give up. "Wanna see flea~?" he muttered and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly. I push against him surprised as I hang in his arms when he stood up. Though since he's so tall I stare down and latch my arms onto him, afraid of falling. Shizuo holds my body tightly and goes to his room, placing me on the bed and locking the door after him.

"S-Shizuo come on this isn't funny," I mutter gently, thinking this was all a trick to mess with me. Tears well in my eyes as he walks closer to me with a devious smirk. "I'ts not a joke Flea~" he says seductively and climb onto the bed. He pushes on my chest, making me lay on my back. I put my hands on his chest, trying to push him away, afraid it was just a dream. "Your hands are in the way. I might have to tie them up if you don't stop," he said grabbing my wrist gently.

My eyes widen and I let my hand not held by Shizuo's fall to my side, finally giving into my heart. I stare into his honey brown eyes lustfully and pleadingly. My eyes beg for more as his hand slightly tightens on my wrist. "P-Please be gentle at first. It's my first time," I say softly, letting the tall male climb on top of me. "I can't make any promises," he whispers in my ear and nibbles on it gently. My face heats up and I bit my lip gently.

His leg pushes up between mine, pushing against my crotch. I moan out gently as he pushes against the forming bulge there. My body is hot and my heart pounding fast, I want this badly. I lean up to his face, connecting our lips in a kiss. He pushes my upper body down again, kissing me a bit forcefully. I open my mouth slightly for him, not long after that his tongue slips into my mouth. The warmth radiating from our touches leaves me tingling.

"A-Are you sure you want this?" he mutters after breaking apart our heated kiss. "Y-Yes," I nod, "I may be depressed but we can fix that after i have my fix of you." My words don't even feel like they're from me, like they're just water leaving my lips like a waterfall. Shizuo nods and pushes his leg against the bulge in my pants. I moan gently but am cut off when he captures my lips in a heated kiss once more. He slips his tongue in my mouth, tasting and exploring every inch of it.

Soon his hands are caressing my sides, sliding downwards. One of his hands travel up to my clothed nipples. He rubs it tenderly and his other hand reaches my crotch. Before doing anything else, he rids my body of my clothes, all but my boxers. I shiver at the cold air and slightly frown when I see he wasn't naked as I was. I reach a hand up, pulling on his sleeve as a message.

He smirks and starts to remove his clothes, now were both laying together only in our boxers. His hand rubs against my hard on through my boxers and his mouth attacks my neck. He sucks and nibbles on my neck, leaving marks where ever his mouth laid on my pale skin. I moan out as he rubs my hard on and sucks on my neck. Soon his lips travel down with soft kisses until i feel his lips touch my nipple.

I moan out gently when his lips cover my now hard nipple. He sucks and nibbles on it, earning breathless moans from my mouth. Shizuo bites on it gently and pulls back. The blond stares in my eyes and says," I can't wait anymore Flea." My eyes widened slightly, my face burns at the thought. Soon without even knowing it my boxers are throw in a pile with other clothes and so is his. I gulp as I see how big his member is, and say, "I-i don't think you'll fit."

"Then i'll make it fit," my eyes widens as he smirks. I stare at him wide eyed but relax soon enough. Shizuo puts three fingers in front of my mouth saying, "Suck" I comply and place my mouth over each digit. I thoroughly coat each finger with saliva and suck on them. Soon he pulls them out of my mouth and spreads my legs apart. Before i can prepare myself a finger pushes into my hole forcefully. I whimper out in pain and grab his shoulder tightly.

He thrust the finger in and out of me until I start moaning in pleasure. Soon I whimper once again in pain as a second finger pushes into me. After a while i get used to it and he pushes a third and final finger into me. He scissors them and thrusts them inside me, making me moan like crazy. The pain subsides and he pulls the fingers out. I frown at the lose but then my eyes widen. I feel his member's tip pushing at me entrance and I gulp.

I cry out in pain as his member forces it's way into my tight hole. I can feel myself being stretched forcefully and tears form in my eyes. "S-Shizuo it hurts!" i cry out as he soon pushes all the way into me. "It's okay Izaya,calm down," he says and licks away my salty tears. I calm with deep breaths and i soon get used to the giant,pulsing member inside me. "I'm going to start moving now," he says and i nod as he pulls out of me carefully, and thrusts back in slowly.

Soon the pain disappears and it feels amazing to me. "S-Shizuo, I'm good i want more. Harder and faster~" i mutter out, wrapping my legs and arms around his nods and puts his hands on my hips. He pulls me up and moves back, then without warning he forcefully pushes me back down onto his member. I moan out loudly clinging to his bare back. He thrusts into me changing angles, looking for my spot. Soon i cry out loudly in pleasure. "T-There Shizuo!" I moan out as he keeps thrusting forcefully.

He nods and angles for that spot, hitting it over and over. I moan out loudly each time my prostate is hit harshly. My member twitches and his hand wraps around it, starting to stroke it in time with his thrusts. My body shakes, unable to handle this much pleasure. "S-Shizuo~" i call out over and over as he keeps thrusting harshly. Soon I can't take it and i call out, "I'm cumming!"

I cum heavily over our chests but he keeps thrusting. I moan out as he keeps thrusting, soon reaching his own peak. He moans out loudly as I tighten around him accidentally and he cums deep inside me. I moan out as i feel the warm liquid fill my insides. "S-Shizuo!" I call and he purrs back. "Izaya~" is what he purred into my ear.

Soon he pulls out laying my body down. He cleans up our chests with a tissue and lays down next to me. I curl into his heat and snuggle into his neck. "I love you Shizuo," i mutter and he smiles gently. "I love you too Izaya," he muttered and we both fell into sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Yeah it was a bit long but it made up for how long a procrastinated on writing this! Enjoy it! Love you~ Shizayashipper


	3. I'm going crazy

Hey! It's me again. I had a bit of writers block, sorry for not up[dating for so long, I hope you enjoy this. do note that Izaya will attempt Suicide in this chapter (Though I won't spoil anything so read it you crazies.) Just a warning! Also there will be smut( Maybe I dunno yet) in this chapter. (Most likely not though sorry!) Anyway, Enjoy this please~ (Read the warning again please just in case you're triggered easily)

**WARNING: If you are easily triggered please turn back now! Thank you. this will have, cutting, suicide attempts, and Ect. Thank you, and continue on, I warned you**.

Even though he said he loved me and held me so dearly and lovingly, I couldn't stop the voice inside my head. It scratched and yelled at me inside my head. Making me think horrible thoughts one after the other as I shivered in Shizuo's arms. 'Just do it already, he won't care. he lied about loving you,' it said menacingly, trying to make me kill myself, again. I've tried before, but never had the courage. I'm scared and lonely, yet no one knows how broken a man I am.

My eyes pried open, like I wasn't even being myself. em'It's just two slides of a blade on your wrists, it's easy,' It beckoned yet again. I stared up at The blond who still slept soundly, unaware of what I was doing. Little did I know that soon after I slipped from his arms and headed to the bathroom he awoke. I didn't lock the door, thinking he was still asleep. em'look you already have your blade,' /emthe voice said with an evil laugh as I looked down to my hands. My eyes widened as I saw the blade that resided in the palm of my hand.

'Do it,' It says almost angrily as I flip open the blade. My mind goes blank and my body moves on my own, like I'm not even controlling it anymore. The cold metal sends chills through my arm, though it felt like my whole body was frozen now. I grip the blade tighter, pushing it down into my soft tender skin on my wrist. Though before I can slide it the door bursts open and I'm tackled to the wall. The blade falls and is kicked away from me.

Sense is regained to my mind and I realize that there're tears staining my cheeks and shirt. My eyes lift away from the blade to the male who looked scared, yet really worried about me. "S-Shizuo," is all I manage out in a cracked voice. Then I'm pulled into Shizuo's arms, my head laying on his broad chest. I start to sob, wanting to stop thinking of these things already. "I-I don't know what happened," I confess without having to be interrogated by him. "T-This voice... beckoned me... wanting me to...to... kill myself," he whispered between small sobs.

"I-I couldn't stop..." he says almost painfully, sobbing into the males shirt. Shizuo just hums gently to me and rubs my back, trying to calm me. If he hadn't been there, if he hadn't awoken, I would've been dead. "Don't kill yourself, please, I said I love you, you can't leave right after that," he whispers out and snuggles into my silky hair. I take deep breaths and soon my breathing is only a bit ragged and the tears have stopped. "We should wrap that up, you're bleeding a little bit," he mutters and grips his wrist gently.

He quietly cleaned it up and wrapped it in bandages gently. "We should get you something to eat, you haven't eaten for a long time so I bet you're hungry," the blond mutters and pulls me into his arms, holding my body up. I wrap a hand around his wrist as he begins to leave the bathroom and I quietly follow him, my grip on his wrist not slackening. "I'm sorry, I'm weak," I whispered as we made it to the kitchen. "You're not weak, you've never showed anyone this for a long time, you were strong for that long, you're really strong Izaya," he mutters and sits me down in a chair in the kitchen. I only nod and curl up in the seat as he begins to make pancakes and bacon.

"What do you want to drink?" he asks me, obviously trying to cheer me up. "Milk," I whisper and pull into a tighter ball with a gentle sigh. I watch him cook quietly. I watch his muscles tense and move on his skin, not noticing I was staring. He smiles gently at me when he looks back. He places the pancakes and bacon on two separate plates and places them on the table. He runs a hand through my hair, petting me gently. 'Eat up," he mutters as he grabs us a fork and two glasses. I begin to eat slowly as he pours us both a glass of milk.

He sits down himself and begins to eat quietly, smiling at me a few times. When I finish what I'll eat I move the plate out of the way and sip milk from my glass. I place it down and I look up into Shizuo's eyes. "Shizuo?" I ask and he hums in response. "Wouldn't it be better for you if I were dead?" I ask blatantly, not noticing the slight anger and sadness in his eyes as he stares at me with wide eyes.

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**Ha! Cliffhanger! I love ya'll okay? I'll write a new chapter sometime later this week okay? Enjoy this okay? ;3 I love ya'll! Bye bye! **


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